Duck III (Delivered)

from by Zach Sherwin

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No word by Friday.
Stress. Anguish.
I had some work to do
But I was too depressed and anxious.
So to distract myself from sad-sack worry mode,
I hit the Vista, and watched “Mad Max: Fury Road.”
An excellent and entertaining film in my opinion.
All about life, and freedom, and women
Winning out over death and oppression and men.
It ended. I turned my phone on. An e-mail from Ben.
My heart beat at an increased speed
It was addressed to Ulla but I had been cc'ed:

"Hi there - Zach Sherwin told me that you guys are willing to take our male duck, Brutus. My wife would like to bring Brutus to the sanctuary on Saturday. Can you provide me with directions/instructions?"

Sweet baby Jesus!
I was so relieved we had achieved this!
So overcome with glee to read his e-mail
That I honked the horn of the War Rig
(Which is what I call my Prius).
I imagined Ben's wife screaming down the desert roads,
A cold gleam in her eye, a serene face;
An unstoppable Furiosa,
Bringing her passenger closer to the Green Place!
Nothing more for 24 hours.
I did all I could: hope, and pray.
And then at 4:15 in the afternoon
On Saturday, the 16th of May,
I received one last e-mail from Ben.
I opened it. Read it. What did it say?
Just two words: “Duck delivered.”
What a lovely day.

“Hello Zach, this is Ulla Pederson here with the Kindred Spirits Animal Sanctuary on Tuesday morning about eight o'clock your time. Brutus the duck is well settled in. Everything is going well, and we're just working at getting him now socialized into our group here. He has a bunch of really nice friends up there and is safe, and he'll be here for the rest of his life, and thank you so much for caring about him. This is what really matters.”

And then she hit me up for a donation
Which I gave
And you can too
And if you do as well
I think you are hella super swell.
Give your conscience that new-car smell. that's their URL.
And to tell the truth, well, it really wasn't too hard
Helping Brutus win his liberty. Literally,
I spent less time making phone calls
Than it takes to perform this duck rap trilogy
And I'd like to think I'd have seen it through
Even if the job had been a bigger size for me to take on
But I won't lie: I'm kinda like “phew!”
That I didn't have to rise too high to the occasion.
Being a hero seems hard, even hellish
Even if I had it in me, it's a role I wouldn't relish
I honor and admire but am not at all jealous
Of the Martins and Mahatmas and Malalas and Mandelas
And Mad Maxes. They're badasses!
I'm not; my life's relaxed and nice.
But the point is doing something
Was barely more work than doing nothing!
No taxing task, no sacrifice.
This world is imperfect and it needs improvements
We may not complete the work
But neither can we be like, “Don't ask me to do this.”
It's our job to push things forward
Even if we barely can perceive the movements.
That's what I believe the truth is.
Viva Brutus!


from Brutus, released September 6, 2016
Lyrics by Zach Sherwin. Beat by ILLingsworth (



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Zach Sherwin Los Angeles, California

LA-based comedian, rapper, and writer. “Epic Rap Battles of History” (YouTube), “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” (The CW), “Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell” (FX, FXX), “The Pete Holmes Show” (TBS), “America’s Got Talent” (NBC), Comedy Central Records, ASpecialThing Records. ... more

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