Drop Bars

from by Zach Sherwin

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lyrics

DROP BARS

I drop bars so fast you'll be poppin' your neck
As you whip your head, following the Doppler effect
Lemme stop for a sec
“Dropping bars” means “rapping”
You copy, correct?
OK, just a glossary check. All right then
Lemme switch gears and invite you to picture an item
Everybody envision a bicycle
With the handlebars that are the type that you'll
See curvin' around and down low-like
The kind you'll find on most road bikes
And I won't steer you false, no
Those are called “drop bars” also
So I wrote and I composed this
Ode devoted to the dopest components
Drop-bar handles are the topic and
I'm about to put it down like a kickstand

Yo I had to drop bars about drop bars
Had to drop drop-bar bars
On the left and on the right
The front and the back
I want it hot tonight
I want hands to clap
When I rock the mike
With bike handle raps
And I drop bars, about drop bars

OK, stop. Wait. Please hold up
Deeply sorry to interrupt
I'm also Zach Sherwin
But not the one from the last verse, I'm a more mature version
And I wanna say to myself:
Okay, that drop bar thing is a cute wordplay
But I gotta take a critical dig at this drivel
It's trivial and frivolous!
Why pick topics like these when
You could talk about the reasons you're a vegan
Open up about your relationships or even
Opine with a dope rhyme about current events?
Choose to sink your teeth deep into
Chewy themes with true meaning you believe in!
Get inspired! When you drop bars, set the bar higher!

And don't drop bars about drop bars.
Raise the bar when you drop bars!
When they drop the beat, don't drop the ball
With some wacky rap that's off the wall
Are bike handles important? Not at all!
Raise the bar above dropping drop-bar bars!

Haaaang on. Pause one second
I'm Zach 3 and I just gotta step in
And say to number 2, “You were on the right track
Until that chorus when you fell right back
On the same old crutch! You couldn't resist!
You had a good point but you had to put a clever little
Twist on it. Lapse into absurdism;
You're trapped in a word prison.”
Now at this point you'd make the joke
That if you were in word prison,
You wouldn't wanna drop, the bar, of soap
But am I gonna stoop that low? Um...nope

Guys? Zach number 4. Hi. Hey number 3? Nice try,
But even YOU couldn't restrain your brain from a pun -
So don't front like you refrained
But look, I get it! I see where you're at!
You want less whimsy in your act
Wanna get away from language games to be more relevant;
Well, it's great to develop and change
But fella don't trip
For life you're equipped with a verbal-quip microchip
So it really doesn't matter if you'd rather be discussing what “matters”
Because this is what your gray matter does automatically
So don't detest yourself, man - accept yourself and
Express what's there, even if you couldn't care less
At least now you'll be doing it with self-awareness
Double down on the drop-bar raps
Dedicate yourself to performing the task as well as it can be done
Here's Zach 5, who's also Zach number 1...

Whether you're an amateur or in the Tour De France you will
Affirm that drop bars are for sure phenomenal
Superb equipment with a curve and dip that getcha
Sittin' in a position that's ergonomical
They're so aerodynamic
Man you can exceed the speed at which an arrow flies, dammit
You can be a winner, eat anybody for dinner
But be careful if you ride 'em on the road and you're a beginner
They're a bit of an adjustment
But you're gonna fly on 'em once you're accustomed
You'll be goin' quick not slow like the hip-hop flow
In my jam about the handles with the grip dropped low.

Had to drop bars, about drop bars
Had to drop drop-bar bars
On the left and on the right
The front and the back
I want it hot tonight
I need hands to clap
When I rock the mike
With bike handle raps
And I drop, bars, about, drop, bars.

credits

from Brutus, released September 6, 2016
Lyrics by Zach Sherwin. Produced by Speakerbomb (soundcloud.com/speakerbomb)

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about

Zach Sherwin Los Angeles, California

LA-based comedian, rapper, and writer. “Epic Rap Battles of History” (YouTube), “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” (The CW), “Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell” (FX, FXX), “The Pete Holmes Show” (TBS), “America’s Got Talent” (NBC), Comedy Central Records, ASpecialThing Records. ... more

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